PREFACE

Older sheep need better feeding than younger ones ( Hebrews 5:12-14 ) ; we cannot live on milk all of our life ( although many attempt it ). The old disciples are fast approaching a time when they shall almost be in view of Home, and their concern is to be ' ready to depart ' ( Philipp.1:23 ). The old are aware of a decline in many areas of their life, but there is no necessity for spiritual decline. These Readings are written to encourage elderly believers, to help lift the mind onward and upward, - a comfort which only God can give with His Word. May the Spirit work with His Word in us.

None of us knows if we are on the last page of the last chapter of our life in this world, and from that perspective these readings are profitable for all ages.

J. Clark

APRIL 1

" But we are bound to give thanks always to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord."   2 Thessalonians 2:13.

While we give thanks for God's grace to ourselves we are also to follow the Apostle's example in giving thanks to God for others, for they are included in the same election to salvation as ourselves. The Holy Spirit has come to them as well as to us, to give us that saving " belief of the truth." ( vs.13). Once salvation is received we are to give all thanksgiving to God. " The salvation of believers rests on the Divine choice, not on human effort. " ( L.Morris) This belief of the truth can only follow the work of the Spirit in the heart, and then the heart goes on believing without end. All three Persons of the Trinity are involved in this. The opening word " But.." reminds us that believers are contrasted with those who refuse to believe and are justly left by God in their rebellion, with its final consequence ( vs.10-12). But our thanksgiving goes with us all our lives now. What would we have been without Him ? Where would we be ? Our lives are centred on Him, for we were chosen in Him ( Ephes.1:4), and there is no falling out of Him ! Thanks be to God.

APRIL 2

" We all do fade as a leaf." Isaiah 64:6.

The leaf can fall at any time. We have seen those which looked healthy suddenly and unexpectedly fall to the ground, and when we passed by they were no longer there in their place. It is so with people ; there was a sudden fall in health or they had an ' accident ', or there was a sudden storm, and they were buried the same week ! " For the wind passeth over it and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more." ( Ps.103:16). 

Though leaves look so insignificant,each leaf had a history, the details of which God alone knew. They had experienced sunshine, frost, winds and weakness.The time of their falling was appointed, though no-one could predict it. They aged and decayed, but there was a beauty in the decaying process. The beautiful character of autumn leaves was noticed and commented upon ; they looked better with age than when in the vigour of their youth. We must all face the fact, we shall ' all fade and fall ' in God's time. In our eyes, some fade too soon, but in God's eyes they were ' ripe for glory.' They no longer cast their shadow here, they shine in a better place. " Oh to be with thee, Ritchie ! " ( Alexander Peden upon hearing of the death of his friend Richard Cameron).

APRIL 3

" A broken and a contrite spirit,O God, Thou shalt not despise. " Psalm 51:17.

Many despise this character as weak, but God does not, - quite the contrary ! ( Isaiah 57:15. 66:2 ) Psalm 51 is not a Psalm left behind after the anguish of our conversion experience. It is a Psalm which follows us all of our lives here. It is always appropriate. Why ? Because it is always suitable to our condition, as sinners who still sin each day. But this Psalm not only highlights the sorrow of genuine repentance but also the reality of the joy of forgiveness. David could only find peace from the very Person he had offended. It is rarely an instant experience of joy after repentance, but it does come (Ps.85:8). God's forgiveness has more power in it than our sin. David had the faith which is always present with repentance. His sin was not too great for God to forgive - something the devil would tempt us to think ! There is sorrow for sin, but we must keep the balance - there is joy also in forgiveness ; the Christian is a curious mixture of both emotions. Sin is persistent, but forgiveness keeps pace with it. Augustine, a godly man, loved this Psalm and had it written on the walls of his room when he came to die. It had been a precious companion to the gates of heaven.

APRIL 4 

"If I say I will speak thus, behold I should offend against the generation of Thy children. "        Psalm 73:15.

There have been some dreadful experiences in the lives of God's people, but, like Asaph in this Psalm, we are sparing with the details, as we do not wish to bring discouragement to the Lord's people, but encouragement. There are certainly things which happen to us which we did not ( and could not ) imagine, but God's power brought us through the worst. We therefore glory in His power and faithfulfulness, as Asaph did, and do not glory in our sufferings. Our testimony is about Him and not about ourselves. " He must increase and I must decrease." ( John 3:30). Asaph was aware that he had not handled his own sufferings well, and God had to correct his thinking. God reminded him that although he suffered, it was only temporary, and God would not give him to be swallowed up by it ( vs.16-28). We need to be taught in the midst of our suffering. It is not just a matter of getting out of it, but what can we get out of it. Then we will have the experience which can encourage others, and on the road to heaven the pilgrims need all the encouragement they can get !

APRIL 5

" Now the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always." 2 Thessalonians 3:16.

Paul had been talking about how the peace of the church at Thessalonica had been disturbed by the idlers, the disobedient and the persecutors. However, the peace of the Christian does not come from being surrounded by quiet circumstances and the absence of strife. God Himself must give it, he says, as a gift which abides. It comes from the inside, not the outside ( Galat.5:22). The root of it is not affected by outward circumstances eg. the state of the church. The disobedient have lost the enjoyment of that peace and Paul prays that they may return to the Word for their life and peace. Peace is related to harmony with God. Jesus said, " I do always the things that please Him." His mind was in harmony with His Father. We must pray constantly for this harmony. Even if there were nothing around us to disturb our peace, we still have to monitor any rebellious thoughts within. " Thy Will be done is our prayer," implying that our will is agreeing with His, trusting in Him that His Will is best for us.

APRIL 6

" Being such a one as Paul the aged." Philemon vs.9.

" Old age is the repose of life, the rest that precedes the rest that remains." ( Anon.) But for many it is the ' winter of discontent.' Society exalts the young and produces a discontent among the old, who have comparisons instilled in them by the media. But the Christian believes that every person's life is a plan of God, and for the believer old age is the last stage on the journey. Those who believe this have a loose attachment to the world and find it impossible not to look forward; whereas the world can only look back. The Bible gives Paul this title and therefore it is an honourable one. God sees us just as He did before we were born, old age has no effect on His love and care ; we are just as secure as when we were young ( and probably more content now )." The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made." ( Anon.) God plans the whole life and what accompanies it. On earth the aged are yet in the prelude, and when we die we shall be ' more alive than before ' ! The battle is not yet over, but we can safely say it is almost over.

APRIL 7

" Wilt not Thou deliver my feet from falling ? " Psalm 56:13.

" One mercy is the plea for another," says Spurgeon. " Thou hast...Thou shalt.."

We sense our growing fragility and therefore our vulnerability to toppling. The fear of falling down is especially a concern as we near the end of the race, especially publicly. It is at the end of the voyage, as we near the far shore, that the rocks come into view. This helps to explain why we are wary of undertaking anything involving risk. we do not lack confidence in God but in ourselves - hence this prayer from David. Many have been pushed into falling, many more have simply lost their balance as a result of labour and weariness. David in his prayer looks to God alone to keep him. He had experienced his faithfulness in the past, he prayed for it in the future ; praying according to God's character revealed. Dr. Duncan said that he could not deny the beggars when they asked him in the street for help. " They use an argument with me which I have often used with God - 'Dr. Duncan, you helped me before !' "

APRIL 8

" I will cry unto God most high, unto God who performs all things for me." Psalm 57:2.

David continued to pray to God. Even when he could not see God working for him, he knew that He was. There is no power higher than God's ; there is a logic in trusting Him, He cannot fail in His purpose. He has begun and He will finish whatever needs to be done for His people. He will bring to perfection all that He has promised to do for imperfect me ( Ps.138:8). He will keep His Word, and this is our comfort as we go on struggling to keep it. But at least we do go on, we have not watered down or given up His Word. His definition of sin and of reconciliation remains with us.

" Payment is the performance of promises. Grace makes the promise, and Providence the payment." ( J.Flavel). We tend to forget that God is always working ( John 5:17 ), and always for the glory of His Name and good of His people ( Rom.8:28 ). He daily loads us with benefits ( Ps.68:9). There are many Psalms of thanksgiving given to us to use ; you will find your condition in one of them. They all ascend to confidence in God in the struggle of life on earth. He is able and He will do it !

APRIL 9

" My soul thirsts for Thee...in a dry and thirsty land." Psalm 63:1.

David was praying to God in the middle of a desert, his soul felt dried up, and only God Himself could give a ' time of refreshing.' He could find nothing in this world which could give him eternal peace and gladness, except God Himself. In his loneliness he cried out for a sense of His presence with us. He is with us but the sense of this fluctuates, alas. He had communion with Him by faith, but he still felt at a distance. Our feelings perplex us. We know we ought to feel otherwise, but we are weighed down in our soul by more than gravity. We are carrying things with us which we think are a hindrance to us, but we shall not lose them until we leave this world behind. They are probably still permitted to remain in us in order to keep us from settling down here. After all, this world has been turned into a wilderness since the events of Genesis 3, and nothing grows eternally now, it all dies at some point. But Christ's people shall live as long as He does. Faith looks for glimpses of Him on the road, especially when we pause for worship ( vs.2-5). It is impossible to think of Him without a sense of worship, and David, when he thinks of Him, begins praying...as we do.

APRIL 10

" He restoreth my soul." Psalm 23:3.

This is not something others can do for us. nor something we can do for ourselves. The soul, because of its remaining sinfulness after conversion, needs to be daily restored and renewed. The soul is like an engine, it requires daily inspection and repair, and the more so as it gets older. this God will do for His people. Old works are steadily replaced by new fruit ( Galat.5:22ff). " When the soul grows sorrowful He revives it, when it is sinful He sanctifies it, when it is weak He strengthens it." ( Spurgeon). The older something becomes, the more care it needs, not less. 

This is a comforting promise for the backslider, that God will bring him back to repentance before he dies. We see this in the life of Samson, David, Peter and others. All of God's children who have wandered from the path of righteousness, the path to heaven, shall be brought back onto it by Him, so that they do not miss the gate to heaven at death ( Ps.118:17-21). Souls which have been bought by the blood of Christ cannot perish. They shall be restored. The honour of His Name, His faithfulness, depends on it. Christ has accomplished a complete salvation. The Good Shepherd does not abandon His sheep, as the hirelings do.

APRIL 11

" And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us." Psalm 90:17.

This is a Psalm written by Moses in his old age, the oldest Psalm in the Psalter. He had seen a lot of deaths as he led the people though the wilderness. Few of the people with whom he had set out were still alive ; a whole generation had almost disappeared from earth. If we serve Him, as Moses did, we are assured He will do this work for us and in us ( Philipp.1:6). This refers to the beauty of perfect sanctification, the ' beauty of holiness .' " In this word ' beauty ' there is something like a deluge of grace." ( Martin Luther )It is Christ's beauty, something that He puts upon us ( Isaiah 52:10 ) that is prayed for. The believer desires to be seen ' in Christ ', clothed with His reflected glory,not as she is seen in herself. This is something Christ promises to do for the soul and body at the Resurrection. He ' will make all things new ' ( Rev. 21:5) We journey through this wilderness, as Moses, toward this happy ending. This prayer of Moses was answered. Now he beholds Christ's beauty, and it is more than his face which shines this time !

APRIL 12

" There is a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24.

It is good to have friends, but we need more than each other. We have siblings, but we need this unseen Brother. We need the One who, despite ourselves, is not ashamed to call us His brethren ( Heb.2:11,12). If Christ is our best Friend, we ought to speak to Him and listen to His advice more often than we do. He gives the best advice and is always confidential. There is an understanding, kindness and attachment in Christ which is found in no other. There often appear gaps in our communion with Him ; let us resolve to have these as few and short as possible. Many friendships grow cold through lack of contact. Let us not grow cold ( Matt.24:12 ). Rest on Him alone and follow in His footsteps. Sometimes the consequences will perplex you. But if you follow the path of His Word you are on the right path, and shall abide in fellowship with Him. He will never leave His Friends - 'let us show ourselves friendly'.( vs.24).

APRIL 13

" The life which I now live..."   Galatians 2:20.

I would not have this life unless He gave it to me. and He gave it to me because He 'gave Himself for me .' ( vs.20). This is a life we know nothing about 

( except by secondhand knowledge ) until the experience of it came into our old life, by the work of the Holy Spirit. The New Testament emphasizes the supernatural at work in this life in Christ. You will know if you are alive if you live to Him. Death lies ahead but, by God's grace, we shall live through it. We have not only gathered experiences along the way but have profited by them spiritually ; " and aye the dews of sorrow were lustred with His love." ( Samuel Rutherford). We know nothing of the ' victorious life over sin ' which some talk about, and neither did the Apostle Paul ! ( Romans 7). The evidence of spiritual life is constant conflict against sin, and if there was a ' spiritual victory ' in our life , it was when we surrendered to Christ the King ( Ps.2:12). We follow Christ for life, by faith, as Paul did. How glad we are that He did not pass us by, as we deserved, but said " Live ! " ( Ezekiel 16:6).

APRIL 14

" Let ...the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight. " Psalm 19:14.

We grow up concerned about how we look to others, how we look to ourselves. But as we grow older in the Spirit we are more concerned about how we look to God inside (vs.12). We are more and more observing our inner world of thought and emotional reactions ; not just our words, but our meditations, especially about Himself. We still cannot prevent daily sin, but we mark it more than we used to. We grow less and less happy about offending our Father, more wary of presumptuous ( deliberately chosen) sin (vs.13).

However, we must not forget that God is not only our Strength against sin but also our Redeemer from its guilt and eternal consequences ( vs.14). ' Look more to Christ than to your sins, ' was the exhortation of R.M.McCheyne. The Word of God is our fuel for kindly right thoughts of God, it is the basis for our acceptable meditations. Some thoughts are not acceptable, especially at worship, but the remedy is forgiveness and acceptance in Christ ( Ephes.1:4,6). His merit and blood speak peace to the anxious soul.

APRIL 15

" My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest." Exodus 33:14.

Moses had just witnessed the rebellion of the people he was to lead, and realized how difficult the task God had given him would be. There would be almost 40 years ahead of being with these people. He could not fulfil his commission unless God was with him, he knew his weakness. God gives the promise to him, now Moses is content. He will labour on, weary but expectant. For most people ' rest ' is from something eg. weariness, illness, enemies, noise. But for the Christian it is not only rest from but rest to something better. In that Rest we shall love Christ perfectly, act more consistently, obey more thoroughly and sin no more. It is a place where all is perfect, at last. If we have the first promise that He will go with us, we have the second, " I will give thee ". " Whom He justified, them He also glorified...For we which have believed do enter into rest, as He said." ( Rom.8:30. Heb.4:3 ).

APRIL 16

" Be vigilant...your adversary the devil." 1 Peter 5:8.

' It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds ( which does happen) ; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.' (The Screwtape Letters, by C.S.Lewis). Peter had personal experience of neglecting praying, trusting, and following Christ closely before he fell in his great transgression. Before the sin of transgression was the sin of omission. The devil knows that most of our sin occurs in this latter sphere, but do we ? Had Peter believed Christ, that he was to watch and pray, he would have fared better. But he had other things on his mind, and he neglected to heed Christ. How can we reach the desired end without using the means ? Peter was so busy trying other doors that he left some important ones open, and the devil awaited his opportunity to strike. And he struck hard. A southern wit put it memorably, " Why pray when you can panic ? " It seems a strange question, but how often do we trust and pray in a crisis ? Is there not danger in neglecting essentials, just for the sake of doing something, anything ? Happily for Peter and for us, there is Someone who does watch and who does pray for us, even when we, like Peter, neglect to do so ( Luke 22:32).

APRIL 17

" And the Lord looked upon Peter." Luke 22:61.

He looked and He saw another failure in the church. It was not the first He had seen and it wouldn't be the last. Peter thought that it couldn't happen but He had been expecting it. Now Peter needed His help to get through and beyond this breakdown in faithfulness. It was good that Peter looked at Christ also. It prevented the self-absorption that leads to despair, whereas Judas died looking at his sins and not at Christ. But Christ has pity upon His wandering sheep. The old feel their failures in comparison with what they used to be able to do, but what they can do no more. But to wait upon the Lord is still to serve. We fall, but we have to get up, look up and get on with the race - He will sustain us( Heb.12:1,2). There are doubtless more failures ahead. Not until time ends shall failures end. But what if we are so hurt that we can hardly think ? That also has been graciously provided for - " The Lord thinketh upon me." (Ps.40:17).

APRIL 18

" And thou mourn at the last." Proverbs 5:11.

Shall you mourn for others as you leave this world ? " 'Weep not for me ', said the Lord to the daughters of Jerusalem, ' but for yourselves ! ' How many shall mourn for wasting their lives on things that did not profit them, but only made them worse ? And now they die empty at the last. Worst of all, empty of hope. They had tried to find happiness in so many ways, so many places, with so many people. But they were looking in all the places where it was not to be found. God has placed happiness in Christ alone, in knowing Him there is joy. It is the joy of forgiveness, acceptance, hope and immortality. Have we not within us a sense that we are dying, a sense that this ought not to be ? God says there was no death in the world until sin entered it ( Romans 5 ). It was not in our nature at the beginning, and this is why it feels ' unnatural ' when we attend a funeral, and tragic when we see someone dying who had not applied to Him who is " the Resurrection and the Life ". Did they mourn for their sins and find comfort and blessing in Jesus ( Mt.5:4 ) ? " O that they were wise, that they would consider their latter end ! " ( Deut.32:29) This is what God says to us all.

APRIL 19

" What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee." Psalm 56:3.

Yes, both at the same time. fear and faith. Both are carried about in us during the day. We cannot keep out fear, but God shall keep our faith inside. What makes us afraid ? Partly it is our circumstances, we are never safe from harm in this world. Partly it is our weakness ; we are capable of falling physically and also spiritually. But mostly, we are afraid of our potential to respond to our fears in the wrong way ; we may make impatient, bad choices, which can make things worse. David knew he was guilty of having made hasty decisions under pressure, and knew he had to be careful from now on. By faith he trusted himself and his future to God. To whom else could He go for such a matter ? " There are times when some graces may be out of use, but there is no time wherein faith can be said to be so. " ( John Bunyan). When Peter began to sink he cried out, " Lord, save me ! " and He did ! May God give us the strength to hold up and hide behind the ' shield of faith.' ( Ephes.6:16).

APRIL 20

" We have sealed the servants of our God." Revelation 7:3.

This sealing is done before the Day of Judgement. The seal of the Holy spirit protects us, " Greater is He that is in you " ( 1 John 4:4 ) than any opposing or destructive power. He unites us to Christ, marks us as His and evidences our genuineness in life. The door of the heart of faith is sprinkled with the blood of the passover Lamb of God. The angel of death, of condemnation, cannot enter. These have been ' redeemed ', bought and brought out of the slavery of sin by the blood of Christ as the ransom. God's justice has been satisfied for them before they reach the Judgement ( Rom.8:1 -4).

These servants of Christ the King are sealed for salvation, victory and the eternal adoration of the Lamb ( vs. 9,10.) This is where and how they wanted to be - in heaven, free at last from indwelling sin and a conscience forever at peace. They sin no more, they reflect the glory of the Lamb and their thankful worship is now without spot or blemish. Travelling no more, Home at last !

APRIL 21

" This day shalt thou be with Me in paradise." Luke 23:43

Not everyone knows that today will be his last day on earth, but the dying thief did. He knew that the Jews would not permit him to live on to the next day, because of the Passover festival. The Lord also confirmed it, " This day shalt thou be with Me," He said. By God's grace he was prepared to go with Him. This was not how he was in the morning, but by the afternoon he had a saving knowledge of Christ. His friend, alas, although he heard the same words and saw the same things as he did, still did not believe that Jesus was the eternal King and died in unbelief, unforgiven.

The Lord frequently said to those who heard Him, " Be ready." But few took Him seriously, even among His disciples. Many go out in the morning but do not return in the evening, they have departed this world, and many were not ready to. The dying thief left behind a glorious testimony to Christ just before he died. We must try to do that also. " What if this were the world's last day ? " asked John Donne. What if it were our own last day ? Many die in their sleep. Shall we fall asleep in Jesus, like Stephen. such die with His promise, " Today...with Me."

APRIL 22

" In Thy presence is fulness of joy." Psalm 16:11.

" man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him, " as the Shorter Catechism rightly says. But we cannot do the first perfectly in this world, and so we cannot enjoy the second perfectly either. This is why we need to be removed from this world. There is no perfection here ; except justification, that is perfect here ! God has told us to use the means of grace if we are seeking to maintain and increase our joy, and especially to enjoy God's presence in them. We do not always have the latter, but this is God's way of testing us - do we want the feeling of joy or do we want Him ? David, Job and others were tested in this way. It is the full enjoyment of God that characterizes, faith must always look forward in hope." You complain, Christian, that you don't enjoy yourself...Let this revive you, that shortly you shall enjoy God, and then shall have more than you can ask or think...We shall never enjoy ourselves fully until we enjoy God eternally." ( T. Watson). Keep seeking it and you shall 'enter into ' that joy.

APRIL 23

" The Lord knoweth them that are His."  2 Timothy 2:19.

Two well known ' Christians ' has publicly fallen away ( vs.17) and their departure from the faith ( the doctrines of Christianity ) had resulted in the faith 

( belief, trust ) of others being shaken ( vs.18). These two had followed their own religious opinions instead of what God had actually said. They travelled on without the Map, the Word, and now could only advance further into the darkness ! Others were falling all around them in the battle of life and Paul comforts and encourages those who were still standing for the cause of God and Truth. Their encouragement rested on two facts. Firstly, the Lord knew them with a love which would not let them fall. He knew them in a special electing way, chosen before the foundation of the world, before they were born ( Ephes.1:4,5. Jerem.1:5 ). Secondly, He had implanted the desire in them to ' depart from iniquity.' This meant they had a love for holy obedience. They were also afraid to use their eternal election as a reason for unholy presumption. Do we know God as ours, and are we intending to be like Him, armed with His truth for the battle ?

APRIL 24 

" After this manner therefore pray." Matthew 6:9.

As we get older the words for prayer do not come so easily, and it is good to know that there is a prayer which is always acceptable. This prayer is commended by its author, the Lord. " As the moral law was written with the finger of God, so this prayer was dropped from the lips of the son of God...It may well be called ' the Prayer of Prayers.' " ( T.Watson). We are not commanded to use it every time. He says, ' After this manner...', not ' After these words.' It is therefore the pattern of praying rightly, with God first and ourselves second. But faith is always necessary in order to profit from God's word, including the God-given prayer ( Heb.4:2).There are no errors in this prayer, nothing is asked amiss ( James 4:3). We are sure in using this prayer that we ' ask according to His Will ' ( 1 John 5:14 ) as these are words taught by God.The devil delights to see us prayerless. Let us give him no joy, let us pray this prayer ; it was given to us for a purpose. How good to know we can use this prayer with God's approval. Let us persevere in prayer.

APRIL 25 

" I will bless the Lord at all times." Psalm 34:1.

This aim of David will be tested ! It will sometimes be a great strain to maintain it , as Job found in his great distress. Nevertheless, faith will always rebound and justify God, even when we cannot understand or explain His dealings with us. Faith will always speak well of its Author ( Heb.12:2). When we struggle for the right words we go to the Psalms. There we find, in all ages, that the people of God always came back, when they recovered strength, to praise God. This was done at all times, in joys and in sorrows. The will was always there, " I will bless," although the emotion was lacking. Faith shall never speak against Him, never be ashamed of Him. Faith shall defend Him, because faith recognises God's character even when no-one else does !

" When I make this vow to bless the Lord at all times, I make it not by presuming upon any ability in myself...My confidence is that He who hath given me the resolution to will it, will give me also the power to perform it." ( R.Baker )

APRIL 26 

" I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait." Psalm 130:5.

Sometimes the mind and body are not in the right condition for waiting. The soul can be restless and the body too weak to stand. But hope pulls both together and reminds us that all is worth waiting for, because His promises cannot fail. They may not be seen in their fulfilment in this world, but we shall see them all kept ! We are waiting upon Him and we are waiting for Him ; both need patience. Many are waiting for all to be given in this world, and shall know deep disappointment and despair. But David says, " I will wait," - repeating it over and over as time goes on. Faith is tested when it does not see immediate results, and many fall away when it does not happen for them. But God has not promised immediate results. However, He has promised that what He has said will be done. Faith agrees, " Thy Will be done," but puts no time limit on it for it to happen !" We pronounce this a most blessed posture of the believer. It runs counter to everything that is natural, and therefore it is all the more a supernatural grace of the gracious soul." ( O.Winslow) We hang our arms upon God like Jacob at Peniel and wait on for the blessing.

APRIL 27 

" Father, I will that they also whom Thou hast given to Me be with Me where I  am." John 17:24.

It is customary for us to make a last Will and Testament before we die. We see here what Christ's Will is for His people, His gift from His Father from eternity. Before we die we commend others into God's keeping, but we do not have the guarantee that Christ has for His prayers - His always come to pass. " This last will and testament...is sealed next day with His blood. And here He tells what He wills to His people, even that they may be with Him where He is. And nothing greater or better can be willed for them ! " ( R.Traill )

All through our lives we never lose the wonder at this prayer of Christ. None of us believe that we are fit for His company, but He commands our presence, and this King cannot be refused. By His Spirit's work within us He will make us fitting companions. Where He is there is no more sin, no more selfishness, no more disappointment with ourselves. What a change this will be. We ' rejoice with trembling.'

APRIL 28 

" There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me." 2 Corinthians 12:7.

" The evil of temptation is overruled for good to the godly...it abates the swelling of pride." ( T.Watson). Pride opens the door of the heart to Satan ; this is why he fell away from God himself. The word ' satan ' means ' enemy '. No matter the disguise, if anything contradicts what God says ( from Genesis 3 onward ) he is behind it ! Satan only attacks those who follow Christ, this is a mark we have to show that we have grace. He hangs a " do not disturb " sign over the hearts of those who are indifferent to the claims of Christ and His Truth. Just as God knows them that are His, so Satan knows them that are his. Such are proud of their unbelief and their self-made standards of life. It is better to meet Satan as a roaring lion than as a subtle serpent. Peter knew this, as he was being tempted without knowing it until too late ! To be buffeted means to be disturbed, to feel off balance. To discern this is to discern the time to fall on our knees, to feel no confidence in ourselves to meet this attack. Whether we feel it or not, it is true - the only power greater than Satan is God. Which is why we need to pray and, like Paul did, see God's promise for our weakness. Paul made it through, the lion was chained ; he could reach so far but not enough to maintain his grip and destroy. ( as Bunyan's pilgrim also found).

APRIL 29 

" But grow in grace." 2 Peter 3:18.

" We seem to spend a lot of thought looking at our imperfections, and not on our grace received." But if grace reaches its full perfection here, there would be no more need of growing in it, and no more obligation to do so." ( E.Veal). Moreover, the most godly, like Paul, may be justified but they are not perfectly sanctified ( Eccles.7:20). Sin continues to dwell within the Christian ( Rom.7:17), and sin has its effects, on ourselves and on others. Sin mingles with our best works in order to muddy the stream. It is a constant reminder to us that it is all of grace if we are saved, and there is no merit to be thought of once we are saved.

We need to use the means of grace in order to grow in them ; the Word, worship and prayer. Many think they can grow without them, but this is impossible. The Word gives the thought and faith gives the action. Growth is movement in the soul and is seen in the life of the soul ; seen by the thoughts expressed and the love by obedience. Yes, we shall always 'come short ' in this world, but grace shall bring us home. " Lord, I am not what I ought to be, yet I am not what I shall be. But, blessed be thy Name, I am not what I was ! " ( John Newton)

APRIL 30 

" If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself." Matthew 16:24.

After our communion with God has been given ( as it is not ours by nature ) it has to be furthered by self-denial. There seems to be an attitude of strict watchfulness about this and is not what we expected. But God puts self-denial as the opposite of living at a distance from Him. To follow Christ requires self-denial as there is still much in us and in the world to divert self from following Christ in the way that He wants to be followed. This is why the Christian life is not an easy life. There is certainly a peace in following Christ, but this peace in conscience has to be guarded carefully. The more holy sensitivity we have the easier it is to be disturbed. Yet we must maintain the balance in our thoughts. Christ is not saying, ' It's up to you now. If you don't keep up you will perish.' That is the devil's lie. Faith will follow Christ and will never fail. It is the enjoyment of that following which self-denial affects. The more we deny ourself the more we shall be like Him ; self always gets in the way of following Him. We pray to have the same mind as Him ( Philipp.2:5) and this means changing/denying our own. It is a constant battle but He will win it in us, over us and for us !